


Flickering Shade

by ShelisCamlei



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Gen, I'm Bad At Titles, Like I just started googling random words Bad, No Plot/Plotless, One Shot, Post-Kingdom Hearts II, Short, no beta we die like men, pretty Pointless too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-07
Updated: 2018-11-07
Packaged: 2019-08-20 08:05:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16552091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShelisCamlei/pseuds/ShelisCamlei
Summary: I apologize for any and all spelling errors, indecipherable twenty-line sentences and the fact that writing anything meaningful with actual plot is apparently beyond me. English isn't my first language and this is my first fanfic - I really have no idea what I'm doing *shrugs*Anyways, feedback is appreciated :)





	Flickering Shade

Sometimes, when the sun is low and the beach bears an eerie resemblance to a different place, one where he once thought he would spend eternity, he lets himself consider that _it could have been worse_. If Sora had never woken up, if Kairi had never regained her heart, if they had disappeared along with the island, if …

(Because for all his former arrogance and strength he realizes that he would never have been able to pull off the miracles that came so naturally to the other boy on his own. And the friends Sora had made, that he was now more than glad for, would not have tolerated him. He had never been very competent at forging relationships that weren’t superficial and awkward)

 

Sometimes, when the stars sparkle like diamonds in the night sky and the two most important people in all those worlds are safely tucked into his side, he even manages to think _maybe it was for the best_. Because surely bright and cheerful Sora was more deserving of the Keyblade, more suited to being a hero and then smiling with the sun behind his eyes like it was nothing.

(But that is a selfish thought because there are shadows there now, and it is mostly his fault. And occasionally, when the light shines right, he is reminded of another who would still exist if it hadn’t been for him – or would never have existed at all)

 

Sometimes, when the sky is bright and the people overwhelming and he can hardly bear to step outside, he realizes again that _he is not supposed to be here_. Images of burning orange eyes in the mirror come unbidden, and the darkness in every corner of the house bends toward him like an eager pet missing its master.

(He avoids the rain for similar reasons, which is funny because the twilight should suit him, but he can’t bring himself to laugh at the irony. The despair and disgust at himself from that night and all the following are still fresh in his mind)

 

They worry for him, he knows. In the morning hours, when the world feels softer and the buzzing island life they don’t quite fit into anymore seems far away, they tell him as much. For their sake, he tries to pretend.

(But the light is blinding and the darkness suffocating and he doesn’t quite remember how to smile)

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for any and all spelling errors, indecipherable twenty-line sentences and the fact that writing anything meaningful with actual plot is apparently beyond me. English isn't my first language and this is my first fanfic - I really have no idea what I'm doing *shrugs*  
> Anyways, feedback is appreciated :)


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